Sunday, November 22, 2009
saw this somewhere...

"I've recently developed some kind of feelings for a guy in my college dorm. It merely started as a liking for his good looks, nothing more. But after a couple of weeks, we were just together with a group of friends, walking back from a night out. I don't know if it was the way the streets were dimly lit, or how the rain was still damp on the ground, it's horribly cliche but i found myself becoming more attracted to his boyish grin and the way his eyes mock my silly jokes. We bonded over music, over songs that are constantly played on my ipod. That night i fell asleep wondering how fun it would be to go to a concert with him, now, i often think of him when certain songs fill my headphones, and I wonder if he's listening to the same thing; the walls are pretty thin, and sometimes when i play our mutual favorite song, it's my way of saying 'this is for you'.

I'm generally extremely confident and comfortable in my own skin and looks, but with guys i crush on, it never actually turns out the way i hope, and so i've found that now, with him, i keep second guessing myself and annoying my friends with the constant insecurities. Everyone knows, somehow, except for him. But it's good, because i kind of have a claim to him without him knowing,and i can allow my eyes to linger on his for a few seconds longer than it should for a platonic relationship, I can ask him if he's feeling better from his cold without looking like an overprotective stalker, and I even allow myself to gush over 'hot guys', guys i would never choose over him if it comes down to it.

I love his smiles, and his sarcastic remarks over my klutziness, I find myself holding my breath when we accidently bump into each other in the hall, and it's good, in a way, to be right next to him, because I'm strangely comforted by the fact that he hasn't brought anyone back with him.

I'm by no means a stalker, or in love, and in fact, this story probably won't warm your heart or make you gush like the others, but sometimes, somewhere, not everybody's falling in love or crying over shattered hearts, they develop crushes that puts them on a slight high, even if it may amount to nothing, it's thinking about the possibilities, finding songs that match your feelings, writing about it, glorifying it. Sometimes, for some of us, it's enough. It's what we need for now.

I want him to pick up on some kind of clue, I think I won't be able to do a junior high 'i kind of like you' speech, but right now, i'm content with just sending him subtle glances, becoming giddy about the possibilities, and just enjoying the warm, fuzzy feelings I haven't had in quite a while. It feels slightly cheesy and seems so un-college, so unsexy or wild, it's a retro, young kind of crush, and I just realized how much I missed feeling like this."

these bitter sweet feelings are sometimes so frustrating, but yet fulfilling at times too...
no time for any deep thoughtful posts for now...back to mugging!

Friday, November 06, 2009


gonna get em all!! woohoo!!
Friday, October 30, 2009
lunch today was good! great company!


temporary distraction from the harsh reality happening on around.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
it seems whatever choice i made is no use at all...

im either too late,

or i don't even get to make the choice.

Friday, October 23, 2009
and im just indecisive...

gotta make a decision soon...
Goodbye my dearest bro!
Monday, October 19, 2009

MARTIN the short ASS!


Like sand, falling in an hour glass
Time's run out
Now all of your bags are packed
And there's no way out
Though i've been dreading this day
No, i won't ask you to stay

Goodbye, but i hope its not the end
I'll keep the faith, that i'll see you again
As you go, cause now is the time
Your dreams take flight
I hope in everything you do
May the Lord be your guide
Until we meet again
This is goodbye

As your page turns, to start a new chapter
Please be strong
When the nights get too cold, and days too bitter
You gotta hold on
Just think of the times we've shared
Look in your heart, and you'll find me there

Goodbye, but i hope its not the end
I'll keep the faith, that i'll see you again
As you go, cause now is the time
Your dreams take flight
I hope in everything you do
May the Lord be your guide
Until we meet again
This is goodbye


*song courtesy of gen*

Dearest bro martin,

u've brought much joy into my life and even reignited my passion for dance when i was going through my down
period in dance.The memories we shared will be held close to my heart (it sounds gay,but i mean it bro). All the sessions,outings,L4D sessions and talk cock sessions is still vivid in my mind. You will be missed as my dance mate,my fren and my bro! Be SURE to FLY BACK when u r FREE COCKSTER!!!!

You will be sorely missed...

been a loooong time...
Well, i really haven't been posting in ages.


well school is pretty hectic coupled with my dance commitments...

just wanna say that i have someone in mind at the moment!! =P

will be making a more detailed update soon!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
I have a hundred and one thoughts going on in my mind,
but i just cannot put them down into words.
Why does my life have to be this sucky?
why can't i have a normal family?
just like everyone else...

Frantically trying to look for another place to stay,
but financial constraints are limiting my options.
Told my mum that i wanted to move back,
her answer, "let me think about it..."

God, if this is your trial for me,
i do not know if i will pull through.
i need your help now...
maybe im not as strong as i think i was...
but im at my wits end now.

send me an angel...

You're listening to:

MySpace Music Playlist at

Designer / Mira Muhayat
Icons /